Wednesday, May 12, 2010

In My Comfort Room

For the past few months, I've been living a life surrounded with love, care and affection. My heart was filled with overwhelming joy and happiness; contentment and satiety. I thought it would be neverending. I found it then very easy to enjoy life, despite the rocks both big and small that I've stumbled upon. I even got myself so trusting, despite the fact that I don't easily trust, that I'm almost always paranoid and negative. Everything was going so well, or so I thought. And then.... Bang!!!

All of a sudden, with an innocent intent, when fate really destines you to wake up from a deep sleep, then it hits you. Fate does find its way to everyone's truth, a truth which does not always bring good news to all. And unfortunately, it's what it did to me. I don't know if I should be grateful for what I've learned; or should I be mournful?

Everything before me went blank and black. Flood of tears flowed out. Weakness overpowered pride. Drained in front of me, was everything. Slapped big time with doom; I felt it. Every trickle of pain, sharp and dull, tingling and burning; all of those struck me.

In my comfort room I wailed. I wanted to escape. I wanted to disappear.

Deception. Lies. How do you justify such?

Sunday, May 2, 2010


It's been quite a while since my last entry here and for some better reasons that were and are bestowed on me, I have no right to complain at all why and how come I couldn't quite get all those dear things done at once, including my blogging. I have asked so much from up above, and gradually, unexpectedly and unknowingly, they have come true little by little, one at a time, at their own perfect time. I may have lots of questions left unanswered; stuff that still boggle me albeit the fact that I really have no right to complain, that I should be grateful for many things, that I should not oversee them with just a few and little bustles around.

Sad but true, people by nature are major complainants. I may have no real proof to that but grounding on pure keenness, it is quite palpable that people, when tested with tiny challenges, they often magnify such things and sensationalize them, concluding right away with much conviction that they are so unfortunate, that life's so unfair, that they are constantly bombarded with dilemmas here and there, making life even much harder for them, discounting the fact that blessings and boons are here, there and everywhere. It's just frustrating to know that people easily get down with petty problems. Don't they realize that the One up above loves them so much that He can't afford to push them to a suffering that people cannot endure?

I myself, am one of them. And I've come to realize that it's so foolish and shallow to actually delve into negative thoughts right away, leaving myself in the dark; desperate and fretful; gloomy and doomed. And these feelings? They all point to a source, and that's me, no one else; not Him, not any one. I alone am responsible for my own happiness, for my own demise. And then I've come to ask myself: Why should I dig a hole for myself to jump in? I'm no masochist. Why hurt myself when I have so much to rejoice about?

I tell you: Choose to be happy.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Woot woot!!

Have fun watching the video!
Today's gonna be a good day!

Monday, September 21, 2009

♥ Pretty Bride ♥

Glamorous and happy, isn't she?
The moment she started to walk down the aisle
with the background music,
I can't help but shed some tears.
Tears of joy and excitement
for a dear friend that I never thought
would tie her knots the earliest.
Cheers and best wishes to her!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

No To Nightmare Reality!

I woke up from a tragic wedding nightmare early this morning. I don't want to delve into details, as no one could really understand it but me. It was so weird, yet so real. I was crying real hard. Oh no. I don't want that to happen in reality. I just can't imagine what would happen. I hope, my future wedding will be perfect, the way I want it to be, and not the way I had it in my dream last night.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Silvery Feel

September 18, 2009 - It was my silver anniversary. I have no reason not to be thankful to have reached this age. Although it might seem to be a bad news for most people to undergo that inevitable part of living, and that is - aging, and not having yet fulfilled their aims and aspirations, there are a lot to be grateful for. First and foremost, a lot of thanks that I have reached another year to live in this wonderful and exciting world; not everyone is given the chance to live this long. Thanks for the air I breathe, for the good health that I and my loved ones have, for our safety and for the love that surrounds us. Thanks for every single day, whether it be a boring or a fun-filled or exciting or horrible day. Thanks for all the fun, happiness, for all the opportunities that come along, for my friends, for all the people around me that make life worthwhile, and simply, for everything. There are a lot that go unmentioned and that my big gratefulness still goes an understatement. Thank you Lord for everything. =)